There are people in life that you have a certain bond with. It's hard to explain. Almost like they are a piece of the puzzle that tells the story of your life. Without them, it wouldn't be right.
My pastor happens to be one of my puzzle pieces. I've known Jim Jacobson since I can remember. He's taught me, encouraged me, teased me, pushed me to think for myself, nicknamed me, pranked me, praised me, questioned me, but above all else loved me. He's a second dad to me and always will be. As a teenager, he was the reason I stayed up til all hours of the night sticking 1000 plastic forks in his front lawn. As an "adult", he's the one I went to the day a boy broke my heart. He sat with me, prayed with me, consoled me, and helped me grasp reality again.
Last week he invited me to coffee. He was curious about my decision to jet off to Idaho and wanted to hear the whole story. He also had some questions he wanted me to mill over and there were things on his heart he needed to share with me. He was open and honest with me and challenged me. At the end of the conversation I had a lot to go home and think about but the one thing he reassured me of was that no matter where I was or what direction I chose, he would be here to love me and support me and pray for me.
Tonight at our Wednesday night church service he spoke a little on his heart reguarding him serving in ministry. He commented that he intends to be around "...to dedicate the children when they are born and bury them when they die. To be there to marry them, counsel them, pray for them..." and so on. The point being, he loves us and wants to be part of each stage of our lives. As he ended our church service he prayed for me and my future in Idaho in front everyone. I wasn't expecting it and it caught me off guard. It touched me. As church ended, I turned and went straight to my car. I cried the whole drive home. I will miss him, deeply.
We are called to bless those who give their lives to serve us. I don't even know where to begin.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
About a month ago, my fellow dreamer and best friend Tessa proposed an idea to me. Idaho. Load up, hightail it out of here and go settle into potato-pickin' life with her relatives over in podunk Idaho. About ten minutes into the conversation we were already on craigslist looking up apartments and jobs in the area. There was never a moment of hesitation about this, what some would call, insane idea.
When I laid in bed that night, letting the excitement overwhelm me, I had one simple prayer; If I'm not supposed to go, Lord open my eyes to a reason or purpose to stay here. I continued that prayer the next few weeks as we planned a weekend trip over to check out the town and visit her family. The trip was a success. I immediately knew it felt right.
Today, I gave my official two week notice at work. In 18 days we'll be packing up and heading to Idaho for our small town adventure. People keep asking why. Why? This is why...
I have a dead end, terrible split-shift schedule job that recently cut my hours in half. I have a reliable car with a full tank of gas. I have no relationship holding me here. I have a nice little nest egg in savings. I have a travel bug. I'm virtually debt free and I'm young and want to get out of my rut before it turns into a grave.
You're only 21 and unhindered once in your life.
Also, in August of 2009 I heard a study done on Numbers 32. I don't know who taught it, I don't know where it was taught but I had written down notes about it and came across them a few weeks back while preparing for our weekend visit. The note that stuck out to me was simply this:
"East of the Jordan was meant to be a resting place and NOT a final destination but they treated it as the destination. There was no major faith challenge by settling east of the Jordan and not pressing on the the promised land."
Idaho may be my promised land or it may just be a resting place until God pulls me another direction, but you can bet your bottom dollar it will be a faith challenge. Starting over won't be easy but I'm not going to let fear override faith. I'm pressing on.