Fear

There is a phone call I have been avoiding for a week or so now. It's not a bad phone call. In fact, once I have the courage to pick up the phone and dial, it will be a healing conversation. I need to release someone of self-doubt and guilt and a heavy load I know they are carrying when they need not. Until a month ago, when my own load was lifted consequently, did I realize they also had a load they needed set free of. It's amazing how your own load can tunnel your vision.

I fear this phone call.

I like words. I like writing words. I like reading words. I fear speaking words. I'm not an eloquent speaker by any means. I stumble and jumble them up and they come out in awkward sentences and uncomfortable comments. Meeting new people, not pretty. Talking on a phone, not prettier.

But the daffodil's are in full bloom in the front yard today. They greeted me with their cheerful yellow bloom when I slumped up the front steps this evening. If they have the courage to show their beauty to the whole wide world, I surely have enough courage to reveal my heart to a single person.